i wish i didn't have to "hide" my magick from my husband. he knows i have been doing magick, but i feel uncomfortable, constantly worried that he will walk in on my spell, break the circle, vex the energy. he still wants me to go to church with him, wants me to get "active" again. i just don't feel comfortable with it anymore. seems like i'm a stranger in familiar land. culture shock. like i've been gone so long that the little podunk town i lived in before seems mean and closed-minded. not for me. no one can quite understand that a religion might not work for everyone. it's limiting, confining, stunting. we need to see more than one little tile of the mosaic. it's a metaphor i've grappled with for almost 10 years.
so, these little circles i cast are punctured and burst. that's why i've taken to casting a perimeter around the room instead of a little circle. i can go about my business without worrying about disruptions as much.
not to mention, i've neglected my magick for a few weeks...since i last got sick. it feels good to be back in a sacred space. feels good to smell nag champa and feel the glow of the candles.
a few of the slower-to-turn trees look like their limbs are on fire. yellow and orange and red. like matches. others are still deep burgundy.
yule is next week. :)
within this sacred circle i feel peace. i think the spell is working.
I've decided to consider myself an Episcopalian Hindu-Buddhist Wiccan with curiosity for Masonic, Rosicrucian, and Golden Dawn. If you can be multilingual, then I suppose multitheological also, though I'm expert in none of the above. I did purchase a copy of The Jefferson Bible which is as active as I'll become. Plus I need to finish The Confessions of Saint Augustine. I've stopped posting in my blog for now so I can type up some mathematical notes and while I assemble a portable altar after another blogger, Leathra's idea, though her's was in an Altoids tin, while mine contains larger objects one of which is a 3-dimensional "pentagram" out of maple. It will be painted in four colors representing fire water earth and air signs with the symbols of the Zodiac and Chinese characters representing the five elements. Can't say I actually practice magick yet, but I just had my first interesting vivid dream in a while which seemed a bit magickal.
ReplyDeletei find the less a person has to do with organized religion, the more sincere his/her spiritual core is. for example, many of the first missionaries to the Native Americans were well-accepted, respected, loved. their lives often reflected the life of Christ. once the "church" moved in, the reception to christianity changed, because of the hypocritical "christians" ill-represented the love of Christ. i still consider myself a christian, but i refuse to say i am a particular denomination. i believe in the spirit of Christ and his teachings, not in the doctrinal nit-picking that is organized Christianity.
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